The personal growth industry purports to prepare us for successful intimacy by directing us to become strong, self-reliant, well individuated people FIRST. But there are some flaws in this theory. Will we die of emotional starvation somewhere on the journey to complete autonomy? Perhaps we are ALREADY sufficiently individuated. In any case, how can we get ready for love without practicing love? Since we can't simply wish away our basic human needs, we must adjust our beliefs and rebuild our trust in love to enter openly and constructively into relationship. see article