Being the One You Are
by David Truman
• Relating rightly to the idea of "more"
• More as-is-ness to show and glow
• The not-self path of seeking
• When knowing prevents seeing
• Avoid these two beaten paths: rebellion and conformism
• It's you we're talking about
• Perfection is realized in relationship
• The enjoyment is in the employment (living is the business of being)
• Hope for being oneself: The Big If Only
• Being part of the great machinery of Life
The life that is really true is not drawing close to God, is not having any kind of goal. It is goalless; it is pleasurable; it is simply enjoying what is there. And similarly, we are everything we need to be already. Therefore, we don't need to become someone we're not. But at the same time, we can certainly say,
There is more -- MUCH more -- of who we are.
The full enjoyment of the perfection God created as who we are, the perfection of our relationship to God, and to all -- this is vast. Though the perfection already exists, our enjoyment of it could be, and should be, much more. This is what the Celestials constantly invite humanity to realize, accept, and enjoy.
Relating rightly to the idea of "more"
The hitch is, though there is more to be, it is perilous to be oriented to that moreness, to even think such a thought, because it brings out in us a seeker mentality. And seeker mind is a denial of God, a denial of self.
I told Jesus, "I feel that I walk in God in many ways, even though mine may be a limited revelation of the infinity that can be. But when I set myself to improving, it throws me into the depths of hell. As I begin to think there is more or different, even that which is obvious to me all comes into question, as if it were not true, when it is."
Jesus replied, "Generally, to think that there is more or different is a terrible illusion. But there are two ways to say there is more. One is, 'There is more that can be gotten.' The other is, 'There is more here and now.' In the first case you could say, 'There is more ahead of me,' or 'There is more if you go down to the store, and get more.' In the second case you could say, 'There is more here, more now. There is. This is more." The first one fits the usual way of thinking, the second one doesn't. The one that doesn't fit the usual way of thinking is the true one."
More as-is-ness to show and glow
Ordinarily, when one hears the call, "There's more!" it sounds like a call to seeking -- a call to different, a call to other than, a call to elsewhere. But let's look at the statement, "There is more in what you are."
The call to "more":
It's NOT "What you DON'T have is more."
It's "What you HAVE is more."
There's more you than what's showing. There's more you to show and glow. But that more is more of your already-are-ness. You are being called to that, to be more of that -- more of what you already are. So you see, this call to "more" is an entirely different proposition from seeking -- the exact opposite, in fact.
To be as you are -- rather, to live as you are -- you must recognize/embrace the "more" of yourself that already is, here and now. In that larger and more comprehensive embrace of yourself, the "more" that you would "achieve" -- that is, be -- is your as-you-are-ness, your as-is-ness. But you must embrace it before you can live it.
So, there is this tiny little matter of acceptance -- self-acceptance. And acceptance is determinant. It determines whether you are going to live as who you are, or try to live as who you are not. It all hinges on this miniscule matter of self-acceptance. Acceptance -- not improving. Then, being -- not seeking.
The not-self on the path of seeking
Your not-self is seeking, because your not-self is flawed, damaged, lacking, wanting, imperfect, bad and wrong, drastically in need of redemption, resurrection, improvement. -- NOT!
And therefore it must, and it should be, on the trail to improvement -- NOT!
Why NOT? Because your not-self is an illusion. It is not who you are. And, it does not exist.
But as for you:
YOU do not need to improve, because
you are not that flawed and imperfect NOT-SELF.
Seeking is a spacer
Seeking is a huge problem, because generally, at the root of seeking is a denial of your as-you-are-ness. And that denial gives birth to a pursuit of some otherness and elsewhereness. It is me pursuing something, which I believe is not me.
Seeking has three parts to it:
THERE (as in, NOT here)
THAT (as in, NOT this)
THEN (as in, NOT now)
Not here, not now, not this -- these statements exclude what is. And therefore, seeking is a spacer -- it keeps the carrot of that which is sought, that which is desired, away in the distance, in the future.
What's missing from the life of the seeker -- and we are all in some ways seeking -- is who we are. That's because seeking blinds us to who we are and what we have here and now.
Example: If you're looking for your glasses and you "know" they're not on the table, you can look right at them and not see them. Just so, when we're SURE that what we want is not here, we can't see it.
Example: A man had a wonderful woman, but he didn't think so. When you have your mind made up about who he or she IS, seeing your lover can be nearly impossible -- even if you live with them daily, for years. Finding and seeing require free attention. Our consciousness cannot be obsessive, consumed, driven, chockablock. It must be free and available.
Losing oneself? Hahahaha!
What we just said about our glasses and our lover applies equally to ourselves. There again, if we think we know who we are, we can't see who we really are. We become lost to ourselves. But please note, "loss of self" is all in the brain, in the realm of illusions. The self we "lose" we still have, we still are, here and now. Just as the glasses, the lover you don't see are still here, so is the "long-lost," ever-present you -- the one you are.
Perhaps, due to negative convictions and the seeking that arises from them, you're thoroughly estranged from your true self. But just because you don't remember who you are and you're not living as who you are, doesn't mean you're not you. Whether you've misplaced your glasses, your glasses are still your glasses, and they are still here, waiting to be found. Even in your darkest, most non-functional night, you are still here, as yourself -- witnessing the night. So you see, the real you doesn't cease to be just because you are stuck on an illusion of an alternative, imaginary identity. As a silent witness who is not really participating in an authentic way, you are here. Right here. Right now.
So you see, the concept of losing oneself is only a concept. But concepts create experiential realties. Therefore, to live as oneself is significant -- to accept one's true self and live as such.
Avoid these two beaten paths: rebellion and conformism
There's another problem with the call to "more." Whenever someone says, "Be yourself," or "Be more ...," it sounds like a "should." But people don't like shoulds, and tend to rebel against them. Understandable, in a world of a thousand shoulds: "should" go to school, "should" wear trendy clothes, "should" be slim and fit, "should" pray, etc., etc. The resulting sensitivity to "shoulds" sometimes reaches the point of paranoia. But, automatic rebellion is a costly habit indeed. What if we rebelled against something wonderful?
The alternative to rebellion -- conformity -- is just as unhealthy: When we hear a "should," we try to conform to the expectation, thinking that's the "right" thing -- or at least, the most people-pleasing, least boat-rocking course of action. Then, we take off on another round of seeking.
Wait! Stop the insanity! When we're driven by the impulse to rebel or conform, it's hard to rest, even for a minute, in who we already are. Both of those reactions create long and unnecessary detours, when you're already at your ultimate destination. So forget conformism, and forget rebellion.
Who we are is what this is all about. It is not -- absolutely not -- about who we "should be," but are not. It's who we are.
If you're you, you'll do.
Now perhaps . . .
you fear that if you be you, you'll do wrong -- so you won't do.
BUT . . .
Who exactly do you think you are?
If you do AS you, you'll do good.
Trust me. This is YOU we're talking about here.
Seeking is toxic
The important point here is this:
Self-SEEKING prevents self-FINDING.
Seeking, like alcohol, is toxic. That's easy to prove. If you suspect something's toxic, but you're not sure, you can usually find out by doubling it. For example, let's say you had your first two alcoholic drinks, and you're feeling a bit tipsy, and you're wondering whether the drinks could be causing it. Drink two more drinks, and then you'll know what the alcohol is doing to you.
The same applies to seeking. Seek a little bit, and you feel a bit bad. Seek harder, and you find your well-being diminishes further. At some point, you know that seeking is the cause of your ills. "The more I seek a 'me' to be, the less I be myself. And the less happy and full I feel."
The handwriting is on the wall, isn't it? How perfectly wrong seeking is! It is precisely the denial of who you are -- and the not-living of who you are. That, friends, is the problem with it.
Seeking is like smoking. Smoking is bad for you. What are you supposed to do about that? Should you smoke half as much, but keep on smoking? Of course not! The only thing that makes sense, the only thing that works, is to stop smoking. In other words, there's nothing to do "about" smoking except to quit.
Seeking is one of those things. You don't just seek a little less -- you quit.
Perfection is realized in relationship
I said to Jesus, "I don't want to be a seeker. I don't want to improve. And I can't actually imagine improving because, essentially, I'm perfect." Then I told him about my challenge to the Celestials -- how I would put my friends up against the Celestials in a heavenly beauty pageant; how I thought they would compete with the best the angels could come up with. This was because I felt that my friends were perfect.
Jesus said, "Yes, perfection is -- but perfection is realized in relationship, in interaction. For example, there could be a perfect bolt. It would not need any improvement. But it belongs in the space shuttle, which is composed of so many perfect components like this bolt. For that bolt to find its place in the Universe, as a perfect part of a perfect machine, it needs to exist in relationship to the other parts in the space shuttle. That's how it fulfills its potential. The result is happiness and fulfillment -- for both the bolt and the shuttle."
And so it is with human beings:
1. Being perfect, we are not in need of improvement.
AND
2. We find our perfection, and we express it, in right relation to our context, to our world, and to others.
Example: A woman is perfect, in herself, as God made her. But in a love RELATIONSHIP, a beautiful and appropriate context, her perfection is brought out, realized, fulfilled. Utilized! We need a context in which to share love: to give love and receive it.
Make no mistake: it does not insult the woman's character to say that she needs a context in which to be who she is. For example, there is no implication, none whatsoever, that she is imperfect unless she has a husband. Heaven forbid! Nor, by the same token, do we say that any of us is imperfect until and unless we find our right relationship to our fellow man, to the universe, to God, to the Celestials, etc. Again: we are actually perfect, just as we are. We stand by that, 100%.
But still, the analogy of the bolt in the space shuttle applies: Though the individual bolt is perfect, its value is realized in the context in which its perfection works, does what it does. Like a perfect bolt, we each need and benefit from being part of a perfect wholeness. And we benefit others that way.
The enjoyment is in the employment (living is the business of being)
A Zen koan asks, "If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it fall, does it make a sound?" Behind that question is this one: "If no one hears or sees it, what difference does it make?"
We're here to make a difference, you see? To make that difference, we have one thing to work with: ourselves. But we can't expect to make a difference with who we are if we hide our light under a bushel basket. To make a difference, we need to show up.
What is a flower's function if it does not show itself off, either in the garden, or on the table in a vase? In the same sense, what is your value if you do not show up as yourself? You are here to be seen, to be enjoyed -- not to be wasted.
And, what you are, what your power is, is in relationship. A woman may be beautiful, but unless she can delight with her beauty, where is the joy of her womanly power? A man may be bright or strong, but again, unless he can serve with his strengths, where is the joy of his manly power? The enjoyment is in the employment.
That said, we can at last make a truly important and helpful distinction between seeking and being:
SEEKING: Seeking is thinking that you lack what you have, and then searching for that which already is, but which is being denied.
BEING: Being means being, living, expressing, functioning as you are. And, being as you are also means being in relationship to all that you love. All of that, as a wholeness, is being. Being oneself.
Hope for being oneself: The Big If Only
Here's something you very well know about your friends, and if you're like me, it is your fond hope. Let's call it "The Big If Only." If Only your friends would be who they are, everyone would be so happy. God's in His heaven, and all is right with the world.
As you well know, if your friends were to be themselves, you wouldn't be the only one thrilled. They'd be happy, too. Lots of people would be happy. And needless to say, their dreams for you are the same: They hope that you will be yourself. Yes!
Being is what makes the world happy -- being oneself. Just as, conversely, not being oneself is a great deprivation. You are perfect as you are, beautiful as you are. When you hide or suppress your true self, the world is denied great beauty. That's why, for the world, the loss of YOUness means deprivation. And that, friends, proves that being oneself really is the fulfillment of life. We aren't here to become someone else, just to be ourselves.
Without a doubt, some of your friends are trying to be who they are. But they still think that being themselves means being someone different than who they are. Within the limits of what's possible, they may be doing a fine job of simulating being "themselves" -- trying to be the person they think they "should" be. But of course, regardless of how well they are doing at it, it's completely impossible. They'll never be themselves that way! Only if they stop the activity of seeking will they be able to discover -- and live as -- who they are.
An important caveat
We need to put in a little reminder at this point: The ego has its own idea what it means to "be oneself." But that, friends, is 100% wrong. It is the very opposite of what we are talking about. What it has in mind is disgusting and destructive.
The ego's idea of being yourself is that you should act as the person it thinks you are. That is not you. And that, friends, you've already achieved. Under the ego's "guidance," you and your friends already are as not-oneself as a person can be! As a matter of fact, that's exactly why you know that everything would be so happy if people were who they are. Because the true self is infinitely better than the false personas ego cooks up.
Fortunately, when it comes to your friends, you recognize who they really are -- their reality. That's why you know what a vast improvement it would be for them simply to manifest that. Compared to the person they're imagining themselves to be, posing as, and functioning as, the difference would be as great as the difference between night and day. It's because you recognize these things that your dreams are for the manifestation of who they are -- in their life and yours. You'd love the whole world to benefit from who they are.
Being part of the great machinery of Life
The world really needs us to be who we are! Our self-reality is not just a beauty for all to enjoy, it's an indispensable part of the way everything works. We have seen how, in this life, function matters. Not just being oneself, but living as, functioning as, oneself. For the happiness and fulfillment of all, the mom needs to function as a mom, and the child needs to function as the child. All the parts of this organism need to dance, interact, communicate together.
We've seen that what makes the space shuttle powerful is the interaction between its components. In flight, a thermal sensor talks to the computer brain, which in turn talks to valves in the cooling system.
Now . . .
If nothing calls the computer brain of the space shuttle, what use is the brain? If the sensor does not send a signal, what use is it? And then again, if the computer brain does not receive a signal, what good is it? And if the computer brain cannot issue an instruction, and the valves in the cooling system don't receive instructions, and operate, what good is the cooling system?
A light could not be better, but it could be plugged in, and turned on. Plug it in! Flip the switch, and let the energy flow! Ah -- light!
Likewise, you cannot be better. But what if you are plugged into God, you see? What if you are plugged into all your relationships? Ah, then there will be light! Let there be light.
Friends, you exist in relationship, as part of a great machinery of Life. So, when you accept that there is more of who you already are, and you be that, you make the Whole even greater. It gets to be more of what it is, but cannot be, without you.
by David Truman
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