In God's Defense

Nowadays we have everybody hating the gender qualities of both sexes, and making a huge stink about it, looking for a scapegoat to pin the problem on. The really clueless people blame gender qualities on culture. The rest of them blame gender qualities on God. You even have people hating God for having created gender qualities in the first place.

The prosecutors are in a position to assemble a resounding, almost perfectly watertight case against Deity. These ace legal eagles can thoroughly justify the burying of humanity's gender-related gifts. Well, I'm here to defend God. This is the scene where all the penniless man gets for his defense is some lame alcoholic attorney, the one who no one knows how he even passed the bar exam—me!

First defense: Deity is willing for us not to be pathetic

On behalf of my Client, I'd like to start by entering into evidence just one mitigating consideration. There's one thing no one can deny: that a person who hides their gender-related gifts is pathetic. And so, in the defense of Deity, we can say that the Deity is willing for us not to have to be pathetic. And God knows, who really wants to be pathetic?

In all honesty—and I say this on behalf of my Client—we can admit an emasculated man is pathetic, and so is a de-feminized woman. Think about it: When emasculated men need encouragement and handholding to do the slightest thing, and when they need to have all their actual views pulled out of them as if with forceps, that's pathetic.

And, if you will, consider the de-feminized woman—the one with that dry-as-crackers, officious quality. I'm speaking of the dry quality we associate with the woman who runs away from feelings willy-nilly, the woman who has walled herself off so perfectly from her own feminine essence that she has come to resemble the character in the world she most hates: the red-neck man who, in his unfeelingness, is pathetic. And so now she too is pathetic; and we pity her, don't we?

Now then, for all the bad things that could be said about the God-given nature of a masculine man, an assertive man, a forthright man, the one thing you have to admit about him is, he's not pathetic. He's just not. I raise this one tiny point in his Creator's defense before my honorable jury. And likewise, for all the bad things that could be said about a feminine woman, a feeling woman, one thing she is free from is the accusation that she is pathetic. She is not pathetic. On behalf of my Client, the God who made her female, I would submit this for your consideration: that no matter how thoroughly a strongly feminine woman may be vilified, excoriated, demeaned, criticized, and invalidated, no one could stand up in this court and honestly say that she is pathetic. On the contrary: she is powerful. She is beautiful in her nature.

On behalf of my Client, I submit these things to the jury for your august and sincere consideration, so that you may see why He did what He did in creating gender-related gifts. Deity intends and knows that if we were willing to embrace these "obnoxious" gender characteristics, the characteristics against which we have such severe judgments, then at least we would not have to be pathetic. For all the other things that could be said against my Client's creation, this needs to be pointed out as a mitigating factor for the consideration of the court at large. Does it not?

I hope when all the proceedings are through and all the adjudications are rendered, my Client will be exonerated on this basis: that He has created the possibility that these creatures, male and female, may not be pathetic. I'll leave that consideration with you.

Second defense: Deity is willing for us to be respectable

Now let me take another tack. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what do you glue your relationships together with? What is the glue, the cement, the ties that bind in your relationships?

Go deep, way deep, and I think you will agree that none of us is perfect, and most of us doubt that we could be. Therefore, naturally, when it comes to our shortcomings, we all hope that those who love us and who care about us will show us an attitude of tolerance, patience, and forgiveness. This is what we hope for, is it not? And more than that, we want respect. But we do not want pity. Oh no.

But honestly, any relationship that depends primarily on tolerance and forgiveness is, on the whole, taxing, exhausting of our partner's resources of goodwill, in spite of—or even, if you will—because of its glue, its basic reality or foundation, its structure. On the basis of tolerance, it may exist for a spell, but it is weak. And in our wisdom we know, and we fear, and we predict, that we cannot get much respect as long as what we are asking for, predominately, is sympathy and understanding and tolerance and long-sufferingness and forgiveness.

So, as much as we want a strong relationship—a vital relationship, a loving relationship, a harmonious relationship—we cannot expect such a thing as long as we are essentially beggars passing the plate, trying to collect the compassionate assurances upon which we believe our relationships presently depend. Because, while every relationship requires forgiveness, tolerance, long-sufferingness, and patience to endure, any relationship which is based primarily on patience, tolerance, and forgiveness is glued together with the wrong glue.

It is not healthy to depend heavily or primarily upon tolerance. It's the wrong glue. It is not befitting you, oh bright and shining creation of God. That glue does not reflect the glory of God's creation—you. Oh no. That glue reflects the irritating quality of your self-creation, instead. God did not make creatures who needed to be tolerated. It's only illusions of self which must be tolerated.

Of course, it's easier to see this in someone else than it is to see this in oneself. So let's take a reprobate alcoholic, and make him a scapegoat. This poor drunk comes into your life and he says, "Will you be able to tolerate me? Do you have enough patience, forgiveness, sympathy, to be with me? Do you? If so, on the basis of that, we have a handshake, a possibility, a prayer, a marriage. But certainly, without a heavenly dose of forgiveness, patience, and tolerance, I'm not your man. I am a man whose ideal woman is a saint. Oh yes I am. That is how I see myself." The same strategy exists in a woman of very low self esteem. She feels, "I am a woman whose partner must be incredibly forgiving. That's who I am. So, do you have enough forgiveness, forbearance, tolerance, patience in your heart to be with me, to hang with me?"

And so, both of these sad sacks, if they had their way, might ask for some paperwork for security. They might say, "Don't you agree tolerance and patience are virtues? If you do, would you please sign to that effect, right over here on this form? Because if you will sign that, I think there's hope for us—on that basis."

Of course we want—and we certainly feel we deserve—respect for the fact that whatever our shortcomings may be, we are trying. We are trying, trying—ever so trying! The defense has no quibble with the fact that some amount of tolerance is due. And we appreciate the fact that people are trying. But still, exactly how trying can a trying person be, and still inspire the respect that they feel they deserve?

For example: How trying can a feminized man be, and still get the respect he feels is a man's due? And similarly: What of a woman who, on account of cowardice, has taken refuge in pseudo-masculinity, and so offers little or nothing of feminine virtue? Can she still get the respect that a woman deserves?

On the one hand, we say that we base our relationship's security on sympathy and forbearance. But on the other hand, we want respect! Are we talking about opposing values? Are we talking about a contradiction of some kind? You can stretch the bubble gum only so far before the bubble bursts. You know what I'm saying? If you like security, don't play that kind of brinkmanship. Try to stay on the safe side of that game. Don't push it.

I'm not trying to stretch a point here. I'm just trying to say a simple thing. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, there is more to life than being tolerable—there is being respectable. There is more to life than being forgivable, there is being good. I think—and I hope I speak for the rest of you when I say this—I think that while all of us doubt we could be perfect, most of us like to think that we could be respectable. And quite frankly, in my Client's defense, Deity intends and knows that if we were willing to embrace our gender characteristics, the characteristics He has been so vilified for creating, then at least we would be respectable.

Third defense: Deity is willing for us to be healed

If you will continue to bear with me, I have a third defense for your consideration. In our much-maligned gender-related gifts, Deity has given us the means to heal each other.

When we speak of healing, energy is what heals. Always. That's what all those little slant-eyed acupuncturists are doing with their little twelve pulses, their little needles, and their little moxibustion all over the place. Those little guys are working on restoring energy flow to the vital-deprived organs. That's what they're doing. Let's face it.

And that's what you're hoping for when you send your prissy little friend over to the hooker. What you're hoping for—hope against hope—is that this hooker is going to give him a little pulse that's going to liven up the poor sap. Get laid, get a pulse, and go home happy. Okay? That's what you're hoping.

And look at the dried-up little librarian, with the crusty little exterior. Somebody needs to give her a push in the right direction. Someone needs to say, "I know you're feeling a little flat, and you're a little cranky, but honestly, there's nothing wrong with you that a pulse or two can't fix. So don't despair. Help is on the way. Get laid! Just go for it! One good roll in the hay, and you'll be fine. You'll thank me in the morning for this advice." That's what we mean when we say energy heals.

Feeling is energy. That's what it is. Feeling comes from God in a wave of energy. It has a pulse—it's alive!

Feeling heals. Feeling is encapsulated energy. And feeling expresses something of the unity of life, it expresses something of God's intention. But when a man is with a cardboard woman who doesn't feel, there's no juice. When a woman is with a man who won't assert, there's no juice. So when we talk about gender-related gifts, one of the most important gifts is the energy gift that feeling represents.

A touch of color in a black and white world, a splash of water in the desert.

Emotion is power. It comes in colors above the gray skyline, emotion does—just like the aurora borealis in the black-nothing night. In colors, it comes. And it brings this message from God: "Since you live in Alaska, where everything is in black and white, I'll do you a special favor: I'll give you the aurora borealis. It comes in fantastic living color. No one is going to be deprived of color on My watch. In a black and white world, color is, all right?"

In that same way, in this unemotional world, this drab, bleak world of people who all agree that emotion is the devil incarnate, and who have therefore paved over and perfectly suppressed emotion, a person who feels is a color. My friends, that's what it means to be a real woman.

A woman of color is welcome in a black and white world. In this world, a great feeler is a great healer. If you take away her God-given feeling, the healing force of a woman is dramatically reduced. She is not delivering the goods, the pulse of feeling. Because of the pulse of feeling, the force of emotion elevates like an inspired person, like a person who cares about something. Boom! Emotion. Brighten up the landscape. A flash of light in the night! That's the healing power on that side of the battery, at least, that we call the feminine.

So, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, take pity on my Client. My Client has brought color to where there previously was no color. My Client has seen to it. And on that basis I beg your forgiveness for my Client.

And what about the healing power of assertion? To understand that is to understand why it's important for men to bring assertion to life, as life. Toss that woman around! Bam!—she comes to life. Just as the desert comes to life after a storm.

In the desert, you've got a couple of million frogs encapsulated in little mud shells, waiting for rain. And you've got acres of seeds, waiting to bloom. Finally it happens: rain! You have to be there to see what happens, and how quickly it happens! In the Sudan they wait five years for the rain, but then, amazingly, instantly, a million living things appear. So many flowers; so many creatures—BAM!

Where there's a little water, suddenly, things come to life. Where there's the little squirt of emotion or assertion, there's the little baby—or a flower. The explosion of life on the parched desert: friends, that's what it means to be a real man, you hear what I'm saying? All I'm saying is, to put this perfectly candidly, if you're willing to be the rain, then you'll get flowers, okay?

When you look at that cranky librarian, and you know what I mean by parched. But then sock it to her, and the next thing you know—a flower! Just like rain on the desert, isn't it? Exactly like that. Some life-giving water, and there's a flower. I'm not trying to over exaggerate this, or lie in any way. I'm just doing my little dance out here on the limb called Truth!

Let me explain it another way: Have you ever tried to eat one of those cake mixes out of the box, you know what I'm saying? Trust me. Add water, and now we can talk. You can eat it raw, or eat it cooked; but what I'm saying is, either way, don't forget to add the water first. That's all I'm trying to say.

Men were born to heal primarily by bringing the water of assertive masculine force into the mix. And women were born to heal primarily by bringing the water of feeling into the mix. That's the way my Client set it up. Granted, the plan fails if each individual gender forgets to bring the water. To make my Client's plan work, each individual gender needs to bring their life to the game.

My final argument in my Client's defense is: Deity is willing for us to be healed. But to be healed, we've got to get to the place where the men are men and the women are women. We've got to make that work, because that's the only thing that my Client says works.

Innocent as charged

God wants the party to go on. Party on! Celebrate life! See life. Be life. We're all in this together. We're all inter-linked in this revelation.

My Client needs to be vindicated. His vindication depends on us. Not until every last sentient being has exposed his or her true colors, will my Client be finished being vindicated for what He has created. My Client will be vindicated when everyone realizes that what my Client created was good. When the goodness of His creation shows itself, when it reveals its true glory, then my Client will be off the hook. You see? When we prove to ourselves that we are not bad, when we prove to each other that we are beautiful, then my Client at last can go free and say, "It took a long time, but here I am at last vindicated. I knew it. I was innocent."

Free my Client! My Client has been on trial for this, for lo these many aeons. My Client has been unjustly accused of creating bad beings. My Client deserves His day in the sun. My Client did no wrong. You are not wrong. My Client made no mistake. And—ladies and gentlemen of the jury—you are no exception. You are no mistake.

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