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by David Truman
WARNING: This page contains explicit facts about love which could cause nausea in people who are accustomed to "tough-minded" methods of self-protection. We suggest reading this page a little at a time.
We all want safety in our loving, and we deserve it. But can we be the caring, giving people we want to be and still protect ourselves from emotional harm? YES! But before we talk about how, let's consider two reasons why the usual self-protection strategy of loving less can't possibly keep us safe . . .
Why the usual self-protection strategy of loving less can't possibly keep us safe.
1. We attract trouble when we become self-protective. In turning from love to self-protection, we become darker in disposition. Because birds of a feather flock together, that downward shift makes us much more attractive to -- and compatible with -- any intimate tormentor. Let's be real: anyone who would take advantage of us is negative in disposition. Such a person will run away from real love, because light repels dark. They are much more likely to hang around if we fear them.
Problem: Self-protectiveness is dark. Dark attracts dark.
Solution: Get out of the self-protection rut, return to the principle of living love, and be light. Light repels darkness.
2. Guilt is the main reason why we create negative situations (or endure them). What is the true cause of guilt? It is NOT what others say. We can only suffer real guilt when we violate our OWN standards.
In our hearts, each of us knows that we can and should love BOUNTIFULLY. We know when we have fallen short of that standard -- and guilt results.
It is natural to seek relief for guilt feelings. By entering into destructive relationships, or staying in them, we seek to punish ourselves and thereby relieve the guilt we feel. Get it? Self-martyrdom is self-punishment.
Now: Does self-punishment relieve guilt? NO! In fact, because self-punishment is destructive, we view our martyrdom as yet another guilt-producing offense. So we feel more deserving of punishment, and less deserving of love!
To break the pointless cycle of guilt and self-punishment, love MORE and BETTER.
Problem: Guilty people tend to martyr themselves to reduce feelings of guilt.
Solution: Love more and better. That eliminates the guilt that creates martyrdom and self-destructive behavior.
HOW TO FIND PROTECTION IN LOVING
Here's how we can remain loving and effectively handle various common problems . . .
Make the "birds of a feather" principle work for you.
1. Be the sweet flower bees always find. "There are no loving people out there!" we cry. Love seems hard to find in this world, but if you love, and love truly, you won't have to find love -- love will find YOU. Rest assured that you have the power to attract loving people out of a seemingly barren world. Yes you do!
We are soaring above the darkness, out of the murk of self-protection altogether. We know that love, not self-protection, is life's purpose. We acknowledge that self-protection is a terrible problem, not a solution of any kind. Fortunately, birds of a feather refers to attraction as well as repulsion. As long as we intend to live true love, we are sending out a message that we are ready and willing to learn. We will attract others who wish to do the same. We just love and let love come, like the bee to the flower.
Since "all the good ones are taken," be good -- you'll be taken!
Problem: All the good ones are taken.
Solution: Be sure you're a good one, so you'll be taken, too.
2. Answer your answer. It is our experience that no sincere prayer goes unanswered. If we have asked, what we needed has been sent. The issue is not have our prayers been answered -- it's how we respond to the answer.
Do you remember the heartfelt anguish from which you cried out for something pure and perfect? Well, there are some white swans on earth. Knowing love's true worth, they place nothing whatsoever above it. Make your home where the light of love shines bright. Love is your true home, after all. In love your Heart of Hearts will be understood. In love you cannot be disappointed, for love does not fail.
Your prayers HAVE been answered. NOW: answer your answer.
Having called out for love, and having been answered with love, our work has just begun. To have love, we must CHOOSE the love that is offered us. The answer to your prayers is the manifestation of your will, to know True Love. When your answer comes, respond.
Problem: You think your prayers haven't been answered.
Solution: You've been answered. Answer your answer.

by David Truman

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