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by David Truman
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Part of the function of the Sonship of God, or the Family of Man, is to liberate each other through the use of higher mind. The higher mind functions that work for this purpose include forgiveness, understanding, and, most of all, recognition: the recognition of the true Self in one another.
We've all experienced the incredible uplifting and unifying power of "great minds think alike"! But, oftentimes, when people say they have a "meeting of the minds," the effect is not particularly uplifting or unifying. Why not? Because whether they are alike, or different, LOWER mind thoughts don't touch the soul. Only when higher minds think alike do we find the effects uplifting and liberating.
Often when we think of support, we think of the joining of lower minds. We think of the meeting of minds, but not of hearts. Such agreements, though perhaps comforting on some level, provide little comfort to the Higher Self. Consequently, a support system as it is usually conceived is practically useless to our true Self.
On the other hand, human beings who are sufficiently in touch with their Higher Self can connect and agree at much deeper levels. They can touch one another as authentic entities and true children of God. Together they can genuinely feel the core issues of life: the struggles, the aspirations, the issues of spiritual substance. Agreements made in the sphere of soul honesty have the stamp of Divine approval, and are therefore liberating. Forgiveness is like that.
What IS soul honesty?
Soul honesty is honesty in the feeling realm of the heart. It is deep, but we can find that depth if we just keep reaching for the DEEPEST honesty we can feel. Until it becomes second nature, that reaching is a PROCESS. The process works like this:
"I find your tie disgusting."
That is an egoic opinion, and it is honest on its own level, but it is by no means SOUL honest. The following questions lead to deeper honesty:
"What ELSE do you feel?" For example, how do you feel about the DEGREE of disgust you feel for my tie? How do you feel about the way your disgust affects you?"
To these questions, a soul-honest answer might be:
"I don't feel good about being pushed around by my own negative reactivity."
NOW we're getting somewhere!
"Great! AND . . . How do you feel about the way the expression of your disgust affects me?"
"Not that good, really. I don't feel good about creating pain for you because of my insensitive expression of my superficial reactions."
"Great!"
Such is soul honesty.
As you see, by bringing into play deeper sensibilities, soul honesty resolves superficial problems, and finds levels where deep, soul-satisfying agreements can be shared. (All of this assumes, of course, that the person is willing to GO there. Soul honesty is not a technique. It is a sincere investigation into the depths of one's heart.)
If practiced regularly, soul honesty puts us safely in touch with who we REALLY are -- our true Self. The human mind, illumined by its contact with the Truth, can appreciate the true nature of Selfhood, while still appreciating the common struggles and challenges in the evolutionary journey. Once habituated, soul honesty is a marvelously effective way of relating in everyday life. This effectiveness evolves from having dug to the root of life, and found the wellspring of Self-knowledge.
 
How soul honesty allows for FULFILLING relationship
The ultimate solution to the problem of alienation is truthfulness itself -- soul honesty. That's what the world is REALLY waiting for, whether we realize it or not. Relationship cannot be built on the foundation some people are waiting for -- shared lower mind agreement, based on commonly held ideas. As important as shared ideas may seem, they DON'T provide an adequate foundation for relationship.
Lower mind alliances, whether in individual relationships between two people, or in groups, communities, congregations, or organizations -- are always plagued by defense and offense, by divisions and distinctions that are irresolvable APART FROM deeper honesty. Now you know why skilled musicians may create beautiful music for a time, but then they argue, and split up. And why even people who think they have similar spiritual beliefs, and shared fascination with cosmic ideas, come to blows in their congregations and support groups. Ultimately, only Unity avails, and Unity is a spiritual realization, not an idea. Unity realization occurs ONLY in the depths of soul honesty.
Without a doubt, FULFILLING relationship is the relationship of soul to soul, of heart to heart -- NOT mind to mind, opinion to opinion, or illusion to illusion. Spiritual relationships are relationships of knowing to knowing. Of Truth to Truth. They are built on soul agreements -- the only kind of agreements that matter. Only this level of soul agreement can effectively support the spirit.
Many people relate primarily ego to ego, mind to mind, opinion to opinion. We TRY to relate honestly, but what is the meaning of honesty among individuals who are hard-pressed to face the truth -- even the truth of our own lives and hearts? There is no real joining apart from Truth. Therefore, for deep fulfillment of relationship, we must wait until (1) we have dug down to find the Truth of life, and (2) we join with others who have dug down to that same Truth.
Once two people have both drilled their individual wells down into that water table of living water, they are drawing from the Self-same Truth. Now, they can share truthful understanding to liberating effect. They can build on true agreement between the true Self of one and the true Self of the other. Relationship becomes the process of doing that. Honesty talks and hiding walks.
Truthfulness makes a person "relationship material" -- just as untruthfulness renders a person unfit for deep relationship. Granted, self-honesty can be challenging, because it requires emotional courage. But the fact remains, every time we turn away from Truth, we turn away from relationship in that same moment.
Example: When you have a friend who is defensive about something, you may sometimes have to walk away, sadly shaking your head, knowing that you cannot actually have a Truthful interchange about that topic. Why not? Almost invariably, it is because they are not willing to look at the Truth of that matter YET. But as you know, the very moment they embrace that subject, you will have that conversation -- and AT THE SAME TIME, your relationship will feel restored to wholeness and to meaning. Magic? No, just an open flow from one mind to another mind, in the spirit of Truthfulness. When that flow returns, the relationship itself is healed.
 
Evolution and honesty
Now, apply that principle of deep honesty to the evolution of souls who start out with a predominant difficulty facing the Truth of their lives. Over time, they move progressively toward a willingness to face everything. Eventually, they can face things fairly easily -- the beauty of what is beautiful, their own shortcomings, what have you. And they can do all this in a spirit of true honesty as a child of God. As the knack of soul honesty develops, relationship itself blossoms and deepens. More correctly, relationship finally becomes possible! And most importantly, only then does relationship become truly functional.
In that sense, the real possibility for fellowship, for relationship, for true intimacy in the spirit, ultimately depends on the extent to which each human participant has evolved into Truthfulness within. Upon this living Truthfulness hangs the realization of our dreams for true companionability, true friendship, true community, and true marriage in the highest sense.
 
Soul honesty WILL prevail
One fine day, soul honesty WILL become the rule, not the exception. And AS that day dawns, relationships that are truly, deeply satisfactory will replace the provisional alliances that are SO common, and SO unfulfilling.
Lower mind opinions will be replaced by Truthful REALIZATIONS of spirit. Only the spirit knows who makes a good partner, and what makes a good community, or a good life. We find our way into true relationship when our commitment to the Spiritual Reality of Truth is much greater than our commitment to egoic pictures of what is true and good. These Truthful realizations are found in that deep well of knowingness in the heart of your heart. Dig down, and you will find them.
Everybody wants Unity. Either we wait for that, or we create it -- out of deeper honesty. Truth is the engine of becoming.

by David Truman

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Soul Honesty: Engine of Evolution; Glue of Love
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