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You talk about your "center," but do you have a clear idea where it is? Consider this: Perhaps you're only assuming that you have such a center. Perhaps, whenever you don't like anything, whenever you're reacting negatively to anything, whenever you're out of sorts today, it's simply convenient to say, "I'm off center." Officially making that proclamation is similar to pulling the emergency cord on the train and bringing it to a grinding halt. "Hold everything -- I'm off center!" Even so, it's all speculative.
The question you should really answer is, why do you react negatively to emotional involvement? Your reaction is the result of a mistaken interpretation of what is happening. The truth is, people become overly dependent and needy when they lack relationships. A lonely person is a desperate person! But a person who lives a life of healthy connection with others is strong and fulfilled -- NOT "off-center."
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Desire for Life
Fears about loss of self, intensity, and vulnerability reflect common hang-ups about desire. This article describes those concerns and offers practical advice for escaping them..
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How to Have Love and Growth Too
This article describes how to balance our desire for growth with our desire for relationship. It describes the circumstances that favor "growing solo," and also describes the ways that relationships can best be used to enhance growth.
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Stop the Personal Power Madness
This article reveals the pitfalls of the personal empowerment techniques we sometimes employ to maintain our independence in relationships, and explains how to develop real strength -- in a more love-compatible way.
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Who's Killing Love?
Pop psychology and the human potential movement have popularized the belief that independence must be achieved before love can succeed. While acknowledging the need for "individuation," this article asserts the fact that a life without love creates desperation, not strength. The article offers optimized beliefs that support a healthy balance between independence and relationship.
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